I have a new xanga. This site will still be up but I won't use it. My new xanga is http://www.xanga.com/sundays_lonely_drive .

Just click on the link to take you there.

-Ryan

i feles ggreat! yayhs for mee!! donttt wnat this feling to go away! bye bye mr felgood!! i willl miss you! until iwrr ite agan!

-ryahn

Currently Playing For All of This By Early November Sunday Drive see related

What is there really to say? I feel nothing. I look at nothing. I see nothing. I hear nothing. I am nothing.

I don't know why, but I feel more alone than I ever have before. If only I could have someone here with me for now. Everyday seems to get worse again. And as every day passes, I don't understand it. I don't see why any of it happens. It's really confusing, and making me feel more alone than ever.

-Ryan

I think of you,

And I fall,

From what I want,

Most of all.

So I lay down,

And cry my tears.

Trying to get rid of,

All of my fears.

When I lose you,

From all my mind,

It will be myself,

That I can not find.

Lost is this world,

Not knowing what to do,

Wishing I could be,

There with you.

All I want,

Is to see,

You,

Right by me.

Kissing your lips,

Looking in your eyes,

I cry again,

Saying my good-byes.

-Ryan

    Just One Last Time :

   I don't know what to do anymore. I lay in bed watching everything fall past me. Everything is changing, and it's changing to fast. I'm not ready for all this. I feel like everything is going back to the way it was. Back right around November. The pain is reoccuring. Everything is reliving. It's like watching myself in rewind, and then playing it over again. I wish there was stopping to stop all of this.

  Do you remember back when we all were about 5, 6, or even 7? We would go outside with our best friend, and play super heroes, cops and robbers, or any other game we would all use our imagination to play. If we didn’t like how something would turn out, we would take everything back that happened to the point that we would want to change, and then we could start back up wherever. All we had to worry about was saving the town’s people, pirates taking our ship, rescuing the beautiful princess, slaying the evil dragon, or even call our morphing machines if we would play Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers. And every now and then someone would end up with some brush burn, a scratch, or even a scrape.  But what has happened to all that?

     Why can’t life still be the same? The only thing that has happened is we lived a few years longer. We no longer have that power within us to turn around and take out what we don’t like. We no longer can bend the rules to our advantage. We can’t even start from where we want anymore. There is no more worrying about saving a princess, slaying evil dragons, or calling for our morphing machines. Even brush burns, scratches, and scrapes are nothing now. We have been put on with too much. Now we have to worrying about saving ourselves, making a living, living with the evil, and yet we have no back-up to help us. And with out burns and scrapes now, it’s so much more. We have deaths, relationships, friendships. We have life! At our age now, we may not have as much as we think, but a lot more than what we are use to. We still help with dealing all this. Our scratches are deeper, and the scrapes are thicker, our burns are wider, and now, we have so many changes on top of it.

     I guess what I want right now is to be little one last time. To go out and actually enjoy what I have, before it all goes away. Just one more time…

-Ryan